Only the woven center was mindfully constructed with focus on healing. The gauze and red linen were just there–so I used them. It was that unplanned. Not a project. Not the beginning of something else. Simply cloth and color accompanied with a request that healing flow towards a loved one. Or so I thought.
I left the cloth pieces on the table and several times during the day looked at the little pile –the gauze was turning into something that suggested a heart. An unplanned surprise. But the red linen started Really bothering me. Nice by itself, but clashing somehow with the overall intention. Clearly lacking gentleness. Off and on during the day I switched out backgrounds. Nothing was working–better, worse–but never just right. So I went to bed.
This morning just as I was ready to pitch the pieces in the scrap pile, I tried one more thing–auditioned one more piece of fabric that I’d been saving for something special, and immediately it seemed to pull things together.
So I replaced them with old pieces from my grandmother’s pillowcase crochet–black walnut dyed. And the cloth started to speak to a sense of ease, or comfort, or gentling. Started to speak towards healing perhaps. A very interesting evolution. All happening seemingly with a life of its own.
And it’s still going. Now I’m hearing that Maybe just a touch of the original red is called for here? A reminder of fire, energy, life force?
So the cloth is healing itself in a way. Moving from a haphazard arrangement of individual pieces towards something integrated. So I sit here with this awareness, that this process is simply a microcosm of life The constant adjusting, repairing, mending, realigning, rearranging of self. Moving and shifting and all the while mysteriously pulled towards the place that resonates with “yes.”